We’ve reached a stage (I hope that’s all it is) where Arwyn gets mad at me about something and then retaliates. Not that she hasn’t before, but now her retaliation feels more calculated rather than knee-jerk. I know some of this stems from hanging around some older kids, some kids that aren’t well-disciplined and some of it is probably just her age, testing boundaries and all of that. I’m finding it rather difficult to navigate, as it happens on a daily basis. Sometimes it amuses me, like when I wouldn’t let her have a piece of gum so she made one sign that read “No Mommy allowed in Arwyn’s room” and another sign that said “Yes Daddy allowed in Arwyn’s room”. But she needed me to come in her room (that I wasn’t allowed in) to help her spell all of the words for her signs. She later relented and changed the rules so that I was only allowed to come in to tuck her in at bedtime.

She makes threats based on whether I will or won’t do some favor for her. “If you get me a blanket from the couch, I will play with you. But if you don’t get me a blanket, then I won’t play with you.” I can’t say that I am very fond of this emerging mean streak. I’ve started to emphasize The Golden Rule. I’ve told her that we don’t talk like that, it hurts people’s feelings, blah, blah, blah. Most of the time I feel like I am wasting my breath. I hope some of it is sinking in.

This trend is making me all too aware of the coming years, that she will be leaving me soon, going to school all day and being influenced by so many things that I cannot control. It scares me.  I don’t want her to be a wallflower but I don’t want her to be the bully either. It is a daily struggle. All I can do is hope that we have instilled in her the values that she is going to need.  The important ones like kindness, fairness, sharing, apologizing.  And that some day she figures out how to make an ’s’ that isn’t backwards.